老外中国访谈录

Beware of some English teachers who have motives other than teaching English:
當心一些別有用心的英語教師。

Many foreigners come to China to teach English. Nowadays private English schools and institutions are everywhere. Although most of them are very professional and truly feel that it’s their obligation to educate Chinese youths, there are also a few who come to China with impure motives. Why do I know? Because I talked to a few of them on-line. I pretend to be someone who is going to teach in China and ask them about life in China. Here are some comments from those so-called “teachers”: (their words, not mine. The comments taken directly from www.eslteachersclub.com/, http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/teacher/index.php , and other websites)
有很多外籍人士來中國教英語。私立英語院校到處都是。儘管大多數教師很盡職，覺得教中國年輕人是他們的義務，但也有一些來中國的動機並不純。偶何以得知？因爲在下在網上有跟他們聊過天。在下假裝是就要去中國教英文的新人，然後請教他們在中國的生活。以下便是那些所謂的“老師”的告白。（他們的話摘自www.eslteachersclub.com/, http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/teacher/index.php以及其他網頁）

“Well, not much to say…but I just wanna tell you that China is really a paradise. I mean they treat u like royalty. The food is delicious…and also the chicks, man they are fine I tell ya. I had like, two girls who dig me within only one month of time…and now I’m seeing both of them. The best part is, none of them knows it.
I’m telling you buddy, come to China, it’s not as bad as you thought.”----James Edward Jenkins
“沒啥好說的……只不過想告訴你中國是樂園。他們對待你就像皇族一樣。吃的挺好……還有小妞（chick的意思是沒結過婚的女孩），真不賴（fine這裏指靚女的意思，美式俚語）在一個月時間，同時有兩個女孩喜歡我……現在我兩個都有在約會。最美妙的是，她們誰都不知道這事。告訴你吧夥計，來中國，這兒並沒有想象中那樣糟”。

“I have some advise for you. Don’t date your female students when you are teaching. I mean, heck, most of the classes last only for about three month or so, you know. You have plenty of time dating your former students afterwards. Just don’t do it while she is still in your class.”----Lloyd Hauptmann
“我有些忠告給你。在教書時別跟女學生約會。我是說，老天（heck是用來加強語氣的，美俚），大多數英語班三個月就結束了。之後你有大把時間和以前的學生約會。只不過她還在你班裏的時候別這麽做”。

“It’s really easy to get attention from the girls. Most of them I guess, want to leave China for a better life. The population is like, more than ten times of the States. So just chill and relax, you’re bond to run into one of those chicks or two. But be careful though, not to get too seriously involved. I mean u don’t wanna really marry them, just trick them a little bit. Make them believe that you are gonna take them abroad. But be warned though, some are not as naive as they look!”----Miguel Chavez Del Mar
“很容易就會有女孩注意你。我猜，她們大多數想離開中國去過好生活。那裏的人口是美國的十倍（the States即是the United States of America, 美國人自己稱呼自己國家多數用這個詞。中國人口其實是美國的六倍，那位仁兄搞錯了）
所以放鬆些，冷靜些（chill），您總會遇到些小妞的。不過別太認真了，耍耍她們。讓她們以爲你會帶她們出國。警告你，有些並不是看上去那麽天真。

“The one thing about Chinese men is that: they don’t know how to let go. When I was teaching in Shen Yang, I had a relationship with one of my student. Nobody knew it of course. But later one her ex confronted me. It gets ugly then. The dude keeps calling her everyday, it gets too damn annoying. He also try to cuss me out in English, But I don’t know what the heck he’s talking about. Too bad I don’t know any Chinese. Otherwise, I ‘d yell at that fool: “Hey it’s not my fault your woman liked me, so beat it…go fly a kite or something”----Kelvin Bishop
“中國男人有一點就是：他們放不開。我在瀋陽教書的時候，我跟我的一個學生有了關係。當然沒人知道這個。後來她的前任男友來找我。（ex是ex-boyfriend 或俄ex-girlfriend的略稱，泛指舊情人）然後就很糟。那傢夥每天都打電話給她，真他媽的煩人。他還試著用英文罵我，但我不知說的是啥。太遺憾了我不會中文。不然的話我想沖著那傻瓜喊：“你女人喜歡我又不是我的錯，滾吧……去放個風箏或什麽的 ”

“actually, it seems to me that the Chinese chic I dated with don’t really care about going abroad. They jus wanna have fun with us. I guess the Chinese dudes cant satisfy them. LOL . anywayz, they dunt even care if u have money or not, as a matter of fact, some Chinese chics even pay for my drinks. U don’t see that often back home , right?”
“

“其實，我看那些中國小妞倒並不是想出國。她們只是想跟我們耍樂子。我猜是中國男人不能滿足她們吧。（笑）不管怎麽說，她們甚至不在乎我有沒有錢。有些中國妞還幫我買酒喝呢，。這在老家可不常見，對吧？“

“Dude, lemme tell u sth. U can totally sweat any Chinese guys and take the chicks away from them. Last time in Guan zohou , I fought some Chinese nerd who talk shit about me and my Chinese date. I dun know Chinese but the girl translate for me. Then I knocked him down , there r lots of Chinese guys , they formed a circle but no one did jack to me….. it seems they dunt wanna get involved . so there, U dunt have to worry about facing them even if its 100 to one. Later on that chick admit her translation might be wrong, so oops there, it’s a misunderstanding….oh well, what’s done is done….”

“夥計，讓我告訴你，你可以完全挑釁任何中國男人，搶他們女人。（sweat 不是指流汗，是指挑釁）上次在廣州（他拼錯了），我因爲一個中國書呆子說我和我的約會者的壞話而揍了他。當然我不會聽中文，是那個小妞翻譯給我聽的。然後我就把他揍爬下。那裏有很多中國人圍觀，他們圍成了一圈卻沒人對我動手。。。看樣子他們不想介入糾紛。你看，你根本不用擔心面對他們，哪怕是一百對一。後來那小妞承認她的翻譯可能有錯誤，太糟了，可能是誤會。哎算了，打了就打了唄。。。“

“Regard your inquiry about female students. I can think of three rules right off the top of my head at this moment. Number 1: Keep it a secret. Number 2: If anyone look at u while u r with ur Chinese chick, look straight back at them, be as mean as possible, they’ll back down eventually. Number Three: Don’t limit urself to only one chick, when u find a better one, dump the original one right away, life is short…I know it sounds cruel, but eventually u r gonna come back anyway. Teaching in China is only a temporary job, so don’t get too involved.”----Da Player
“關於女學生的事，我現在腦袋裏冒出三條規矩。第一，保持秘密。第二，如果你跟你的（ur即是your）中國妞一起時，有人朝你這裏看，你就跟他們對看，盡可能惡狠狠的（mean），多數人最終都會知難而退。第三，別只限制自己跟一個女孩，找到新的就甩了舊的，生命短暫哪……我知道這樣挺冷血，但你始終都要回來。在中國教書只是短工，別太投入 ”

“Hell yeah go to China and teach. Have some fun, go to a party, meet a bunch of girls, and get them drunk…the economy is not good anyway, at least in Frisco.”----Irvine S. Deveroux
“當然去中國教書啦。玩得開心一點，去派對，找些女孩，再灌醉她們……反正經濟不景氣，至少三藩市是如此。（Frisco即是San Francisco, 美俚）

Conclusion: So take care of yourselves ladies. If you really like to date a foreigner, make sure that he is serious and won’t dump you like a sack of overdue cheese. Unless of course, you are just toying with them also.
P.S. Next time I will try to find some teachers information: names, schools, when they will start teaching in China etc. One day you might see them in your class.
結論：所以女同胞們小心點。如果真的要和外賓約會的話，要認清他是否真心的，不要倒時把您像一包過了期的芝士一樣抛開。當然啦，除非您就是抱著玩玩的心理。
P.S．下次我會試試找到一些教師的資料：名字，學校，何時任教，等等。有一天說不定您會在自己的班上遇到他們哩。